God's Love

Today was my big ultrasound, where they check to measure if the baby is growing properly, has all its parts. You know that sort of thing. With all the time we've spent in labor & delivery in the last couple weeks, my anxiety level was soaring. I had a hard time letting go of the "what if's" on the way to my appointment this morning. Knowing that I needed to lay them at the Lord's feet before I go in.

I checked in, waited and browsed through a magazine full of yummy recipes (probably not the best thing to look at when pregnant and starving)in attempt to calm myself. The moment the tech opened the door and called my name I suddenly felt peace. Deep down I just felt God's presence. She put the "goo" on my tummy and began to start looking. First, checking to make sure it was still a girl...

Yup, still a girl. At this point I just laughed in awe that God was giving us a baby girl. Then on to her other parts. First her feet, which both gave the tech and I a giggle. First the left, then the right. She has her daddy's big feet.

I wasn't able to move. It was almost as my whole body froze in amazement. I just kept thinking, "Look at those little feet, those little toes, amazing!"

On we went to the legs, thighs, then arms and little hands. It was almost as if she was clapping. I'd like to think she was praying.. hee hee

Her hands were clasped together the whole time. From diffferent views I was able to see her little fists. She measured her spine, her heart, head and brain. Then it hit me, the detail of every little part forming inside me. What God is truly capable of and only He is able to form such an amazing child.

All that came to my mind at that moment was
Psalm 139:13-14

 "For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well."

In that moment God showed me a little piece of himself. I was marveled and amazed. Looking at her heart, her brain. I don't know if I ever really took the time to see it so clearly before and maybe I wasn't meant to but this baby girl has brought new meaning to God's word for me.

I think with each baby I've had, I've been so focused on the "finish line" I never really asked God for "eyes to see" or "ears to hear". You go into an appointment with the doctor or an ultrasound so excited or nervous that there might be something wrong, sometimes you lose focus on what is really important.

While having a healthy baby girl is our goal, seeing and understanding God's hand in the preparation for that delivery day is also crucial. God isn't just forming and preparing a baby inside me, He's preparing me as well. He's showing me the care and love He puts into bringing a baby into this world. He forms each intricate part, with each month that passes there's something new He's at work on. This isn't a "science", this is God's hand. Not just in my life, but inside of me! From the inside out God is preparing me once again for motherhood. Reminding me how important His temple is to His plan for this child, that eating frequently, staying healthy, resting and most importantly spending time with Him is necessary. I am not living for this child alone, but for God. What an amazing revelation! I was able to see God at work in me, I think for the first time in my life!

1 Corinthians 6:19
"Or do you not know that your body a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are nor your own?"

Also reminding me of the importance I play as a mother and wife already. Praying daily for my husband, for my children (baby included) and for myself. My role as a mother today isn't just to get the laundry done, dishes out of the sink, kids fed. No, my role as a mother is so much greater than that, I have the ability to give my husband, my children and myself  to God each day. All I have to do is invite Him...